Dinu Danciu-Burdescu '23
​
Spending the holiday season during the global pandemic surely means that all plans must be adjusted, and some traditions may have to wait until next year. Still, this is a good moment to reflect on the past year and take stock of everything that happened. Let Dr. Seuss warm our hearts again: “Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!”
The Breaking Bread club, which brings STA and NCS students and faculty together to discuss issues of common interest, recently hosted ​Dr. Cecilia Nahón​, the former Argentinian Ambassador to the United States. ​A​ seasoned economist with more than twenty years of experience in public policy, diplomacy, and academia, ​Ambassador Nahón​ spoke about global trends, current crises, and the role of the G20. In her assessment, while this is a once in a century crisis, there are also reasons for hope and scope for change. That is how we should welcome this holiday season and the New Year, with much hope.
The year 2020 was dominated by the global pandemic, which affected the entire world, especially the most vulnerable. For the first time in twenty years, global poverty rates are rising. Because of the pandemic, one hundred and fifty million more people will fall into poverty and ninety-three percent of the countries are in recession. For example, the economy of the Latin American region, which was the hardest hit by the pandemic, lost nine percent of its GDP and forty-four million people lost their jobs. Women were particularly affected, as seventy-seven percent are working in those sectors of the economy that were severely hit. In addition to COVID, the world faces multiple challenges such as climate change, debt, and inequality. The pandemic is exacerbating all of them.
News about the vaccines brought a wave of optimism. However, many countries in the world will face the challenge of procuring and distributing them in a manner that ensures they are accessible to all. There cannot be first and second-class citizens. ​Ambassador Nahón​ argued there is opportunity in this crisis. A new generation of leaders can now focus on rebuilding in a more inclusive and sustainable way. The attention of the G20 leaders will be on recovery and reconstruction in a new, multi-polar world. There is a need for all the countries to work together and there are encouraging signs of cooperation in the field of science and research. The international financial institutions have an important role in supporting the countries that face the biggest challenges. Multilateralism can emerge stronger out of the current crisis. The need for clear and predictable rules to protect all is evident.
We end this year in an unprecedented way. Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa, take time to enjoy the break and stay safe. Even now, there are so many reasons to be thankful and there are so many reasons to be optimistic. I am optimistic that 2021 will bring good news, first and foremost related to the vaccine and the end of the pandemic. And if I am to wish for something “from the store,” I stand with Dumbledore: “one can never have enough socks” - yet my family will probably, once again, “insist on giving me books.”

Dinu Danciu-Burdescu 

Spending the holiday season during the global pandemic surely means that all plans must be adjusted, and some traditions may have to wait until next year. Still, this is a good moment to reflect on the past year and take stock of everything that happened. Let Dr. Seuss warm our hearts again: “Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!”
The Breaking Bread club, which brings STA and NCS students and faculty together to discuss issues of common interest, recently hosted ​Dr. Cecilia Nahón​, the former Argentinian Ambassador to the United States. ​A​ seasoned economist with more than twenty years of experience in public policy, diplomacy, and academia, ​Ambassador Nahón​ spoke about global trends, current crises, and the role of the G20. In her assessment, while this is a once in a century crisis, there are also reasons for hope and scope for change. That is how we should welcome this holiday season and the New Year, with much hope.
The year 2020 was dominated by the global pandemic, which affected the entire world, especially the most vulnerable. For the first time in twenty years, global poverty rates are rising. Because of the pandemic, one hundred and fifty million more people will fall into poverty and ninety-three percent of the countries are in recession. For example, the economy of the Latin American region, which was the hardest hit by the pandemic, lost nine percent of its GDP and forty-four million people lost their jobs. Women were particularly affected, as seventy-seven percent are working in those sectors of the economy that were severely hit. In addition to COVID, the world faces multiple challenges such as climate change, debt, and inequality. The pandemic is exacerbating all of them.
News about the vaccines brought a wave of optimism. However, many countries in the world will face the challenge of procuring and distributing them in a manner that ensures they are accessible to all. There cannot be first and second-class citizens. ​Ambassador Nahón​ argued there is opportunity in this crisis. A new generation of leaders can now focus on rebuilding in a more inclusive and sustainable way. The attention of the G20 leaders will be on recovery and reconstruction in a new, multi-polar world. There is a need for all the countries to work together and there are encouraging signs of cooperation in the field of science and research. The international financial institutions have an important role in supporting the countries that face the biggest challenges. Multilateralism can emerge stronger out of the current crisis. The need for clear and predictable rules to protect all is evident.
We end this year in an unprecedented way. Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa, take time to enjoy the break and stay safe. Even now, there are so many reasons to be thankful and there are so many reasons to be optimistic. I am optimistic that 2021 will bring good news, first and foremost related to the vaccine and the end of the pandemic. And if I am to wish for something “from the store,” I stand with Dumbledore: “one can never have enough socks” - yet my family will probably, once again, “insist on giving me books.”

Holden Lombardo '23

​It was April 2019. After months of anticipation, the long awaited Avengers: Endgame finally arrived in theaters. The film, which quickly became the highest-grossing of all time, sold over 90 million tickets as people from all over the world poured into movie theaters. It’s now December, two years later, and I haven’t been to a theater in nearly ten months. Throughout the course of 2020, theaters around the nation have shut down, both temporarily and permanently. This reflects not only their irrelevance amid a global pandemic, but also their gradual and inevitable downfall in a world dominated by streaming services. However, Wonder Woman 1984, this year’s biggest blockbuster and a paragon of the superhero genre that has become so popular, is set to release in theaters around the world on Christmas Day. There’s only one string attached: the moment the film debuts in theaters, it also releases on the new streaming service, HBO Max. 
Wonder Woman isn’t alone in its new approach. Pixar’s newest film, Soul, will release on December 25th as well, but it will be exclusively available on Disney+ without any theatrical run. Additionally, Warner Bros. announced two weeks ago that their entire lineup of 2021 movies will undergo the “hybrid” model of simultaneous theatrical and streaming releases. This lineup includes The Matrix 4, The Suicide Squad, Dune, and Godzilla vs. Kong, all of which are blockbuster films that would usually provide necessary income to theaters. In the past year, many theaters have already permanently closed due to significant decrease in revenue. Even large theater-chains, such as AMC, are on the brink of bankruptcy. In June, AMC released a statement in which they expressed “substantial doubt” that they could stay in business past the pandemic. The new Warner Bros. deal only secures the seemingly inevitable fate of movie theaters around the world. However, the pandemic alone did not cause the switch from theatrical to streaming. In the past 15 years, the number of theaters in the United States has fallen nearly 30%, from 7,000 sites to just over 5,000. With each new innovation in the home media market, from VHS to DVD to, now, streaming services, the success of the movie theater industry is becoming more and more threatened. Yet, until now, theaters have remained viable despite these changes due to their exclusive right to new movies months before digital release (theaters generally receive movies around three months before they debut for home media). This whole system that kept theaters alive was upturned by the COVID-19 pandemic, as studios were forced to reconsider their traditional methods. While the decision to stream new releases may not bode well for theaters or their enthusiasts, the choice was ultimately made from necessity. Change is brewing throughout the entire country, and not only for movie theaters.
This winter will be incredibly different, there’s no denying it. With the holidays just around the corner, nothing seems quite right. The pandemic has turned our lives upside down, and all we can do now is try to hold on. We have plunged into a completely different world – a world of masks and social distancing, of Zoom meetings and online school, of quarantine and confinement, and of sudden, uninvited change. Perhaps the only certainty moving forward is the persistence of such change as we adapt and evolve to survive. While the fate of theaters is yet to be decided, they will likely never return to their previous lofty status which culminated in the explosive release of Avengers: Endgame two years ago. The streaming release of Wonder Woman 1984 this holiday season exemplifies the transformation necessary of the industry in order to survive: adapt or die. And so the world will change, and we will protest it or we will celebrate it, but it will change nonetheless.

Sources:
https://nyti.ms/3qHrP1z
https://bit.ly/2W0vucL
https://cnn.it/340k1yk
https://cnb.cx/3nak5Da
https://cnn.it/33ZTGjI
https://bit.ly/3gxDQSF

Henry Brown '23

​Snow days are arguably the best thing in the world. As kindergarteners, our elation was unmatched when flurries started to blow in the wind. We would all rush to the classroom window, starting in awe, hoping that the next day would be filled with snowball fights and sledding. Now, as high-schoolers, seeing a blanket of snow cover the roads through our sleep-deprived eyes is possibly even more exciting, as it promises a few extra hours of sleep. Even over break or on a weekend, a small dusting is much appreciated, as the tranquility of the white landscape slows everything down.
Unfortunately, the future of snow days could be in jeopardy. Zoom appears to pose the greatest threat at present, as we can theoretically have virtual classes regardless of the weather. However, this will almost certainly not be the case on the Close. Contrary to popular belief, most teachers actually enjoy the occasional snow day, even if they do become a day behind on their lessons. If the faculty doesn’t oppose shutting when there’s inclement weather, then the administrations at the three schools will most likely follow their lead. They could also cancel classes for just the students while continuing to conduct meetings for administrative faculty on Zoom. Additionally, unless the Close pre-cancels school the day before, few students will have brought home all of the supplies necessary for remote learning.
So, why should we be concerned about snow days? Two words: climate change. In an article recently published in The Washington Post, the author, the Capital Weather Gang, explains that DC’s climate is rapidly becoming more Southern. While global average temperatures have increased by about 2.2 ºF (1.2 ºC), the average winter temperature in the District has risen 2.9 ºF (1.6 ºC) and could rise an additional from four to ten degrees by 2080, depending on the extent to which humanity caps carbon emissions. This would mean that our climate could resemble that of present day Mississippi. We are already seeing the cherry blossoms bloom earlier, fewer days below freezing, and snowfall totals trending downward over the past century. The last time the temperature dipped below 0 ºF was in 1994.
Let’s face it – our kids will almost certainly enjoy fewer snow days than we or our parents did. There will simply be fewer days when it is cold enough to snow. However, just because it is getting warmer does not mean that snowstorms will become lesser in magnitude. In January 2016, a huge blizzard covered DC in 18.8 inches of snow, cancelling schools for days. While that January saw lower-than-average temperatures, that winter’s December was the warmest on record. Furthermore, during the 2009-10 winter, the District saw 56.1 inches of snow, the most since NOAA, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, started tracking snow totals back in 1888. Yet, that winter abruptly ended with a final freeze on February 27th, the earliest on record. The second earliest was on March 1st, 2020. While DC is known for its sporadic climate (i.e. when it is 35 ºF one day and 70 ºF the next), similar patterns across the country are showing that a warmer winter does not necessarily correlate with smaller snowstorms.
However, more winter days above 70 ºF is nothing to celebrate. Without significant action, billions would be forced to emigrate from their home countries. The United States alone would have to spend tens of billions (if not, more) each year rebuilding infrastructure wiped out by natural disasters. And sea levels would rise considerably, making some cities and even countries, like the Netherlands, almost entirely uninhabitable. Although we have an existential crisis on our hands, the challenge of halting all greenhouse gas emissions provides us a tremendous opportunity. A mobilization similar to the magnitude of World War II is necessary, one, to cut pollution, but two, to stimulate the economy in the wake of the pandemic. Is it feasible? It’s not a matter of whether or not we can do it. It’s a matter of preserving human society as we know it.
So, is the snow day in peril? It’s up to us. If DC’s climate is set to become like that of Mississippi’s without action, we can essentially say goodbye to the snow day. While it is possible to see snow in Magnolia State, it’s a once in a lifetime event. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s get to work and save the snow day, together.


Sources:
https://bit.ly/3qFvs8t
https://fitzlab.shinyapps.io/cityapp/
https://wapo.st/2Lqf37B

Carter Steinberg '22

​When people ask me what it’s like to have a Jewish dad and a Christian mother during the holidays, I tell them it’s amazing. My parents raised me primarily Christian, but I always celebrate the Jewish holidays in some fashion with my Dad as well.
I begin every holiday season by lighting the candles on the menorah and singing the prayer associated with Chanukah with my father and sisters. During this time, we make it a point to remember our past loved ones by lighting a separate candle and saying a quiet prayer for them. 
One of my fondest memories of Chanukah is going to Florida to celebrate the first night with all of my extended family on my dad's side who we do not usually see. We all ate dinner together in my grandparents’ apartment with all the kids and adults at the same table. We stuffed ourselves with foods such as matzo ball soup, roasted chicken, latkes, and rugala. I can still remember my grandfather making inappropriate jokes and laughing loudly with the rest of the table as I sat slightly confused yet still amused with the other children. This was the only time we ever travelled to Florida for a holiday, and I will never forget it.
For Christmas, we have many typical traditions, some being putting up a Christmas tree, seeing family (which is seeming unlikely this year), decorating cookies, and going to church. Although it may seem odd to celebrate two holidays simultaneously, it is normal for us. 
To answer a common question, no, I do not get a full Chanukah and Christmas. Instead of receiving presents every night of Chanukah like the majority of people who celebrate Chanukah, my sisters and I get one gift on either the first or last night. If we have been good, Santa will also leave some gifts under the tree on Christmas morning. 
Being primarily Christian, I have countless memories of seeing my extended family on Christmas. December 25th always starts with me and my sisters waking our mom up early. After a few minutes of getting ready, she makes us sit on the steps so she can take the same picture of us that she takes every year. We then head downstairs to open gifts and start snacking on donuts and leftover cookies while we wait for our grandparents. Once they arrive, we sit down for brunch and exchange gifts. After this, we clean up everything as our grandparents leave to make their rounds to our cousins, aunts, and uncles. We then sit around, relax, and listen to christmas music, enjoying it while we still can. Later on in the day, we head to the house of a relative where we see our extended family for a night of food, gifts, and festivities. 
I love every part of my strange holiday season, and although it may not seem ideal to everybody, I would not have it any other way. I hope you all have an amazing holiday season, and stay safe!

Matthew Merril '22

​As the holiday season comes around this year, many traditions, particularly involving travel and family, are unable to take place due to COVID-19. This time of year is defined by love and gathering, which makes this season feel all the less festive. Personally, I have not found my usual dose of holiday cheer. However, one holiday activity is not affected by the pandemic at all: BAKING! So, in order to inspire some holiday cheer, I’m going to share some of my favorite holiday baking recipes with you! Whether it be while sipping a mug of hot cocoa or trying a new recipe out for the first time, no activity defines holiday spirit quite like baking. Christmas cookies are a staple in many households during the season, and many Jewish delicacies enjoyed during Hanukkah are sure to “make spirits high!” Nothing says the birth of Christ or everlasting light like a good batch of cookies! If you know me, you know I am extremely passionate about holiday baking, as displayed during my time competing on Holiday Baking Championship on Food Network. I began baking by learning how to make various Christmas cookies, and I’m excited to share these recipes with you!

The attached recipes are sure to make you feel merry and bright, and they’re perfect to make either with family or by yourself. The recipes are suited for all ages, so you can get anyone, whether it be a younger sibling or grandparent, involved in the process. 

Also, I’ve included a difficulty meter ranging from one snowman to three snowmen; one snowman indicates an easier recipe to prepare, and three snowmen indicates a harder recipe to prepare.

WREATH COOKIES
Difficulty → 2 snowmen
These are a staple in the Merril household each year due to their simplicity; these cookies are the most festive!
https://www.dinneratthezoo.com/christmas-wreath-cookies/ 

CHRISTMAS TOFFEE (crudely referred to as “Christmas Crack”) 
Difficulty → 2 snowmen 
I would never hear the end of it if I compiled holiday recipes and didn’t include this infamous toffee. A personal favorite, the mix of sweet and salty is unmatched. This is the perfect recipe for getting younger siblings involved, as I have fond memories of lining cookie sheets with saltine crackers as a toddler. 
https://www.iheartnaptime.net/christmas-crack/ 

OREO TRUFFLES 
Difficulty → 1 snowman
These oreo truffles can be decorated to fit any holiday gathering, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa. When dipping in chocolate/white chocolate, a fun variation on the recipe is to decorate the truffles with colored sprinkles. Even though my aunt usually makes these for our usual Christmas gathering, we are still going to enjoy these tasty treats.
https://www.cookingclassy.com/oreo-truffles-two-ways/ 
https://www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.com/christmas-parties/ 

NUTELLA RUGELACH 
Difficulty → 3 snowmen
My dad’s side of the family is Jewish, so a joy of the holiday season is trying some delicious recipes for Hanukkah. 
https://www.eatingbirdfood.com/12-days-of-cookies-day-6-nutella-rugelach-for-hanukkah/ 

SNOWMEN COOKIE
Difficulty → 2 snowmen 
As seen on my TikTok, these cookies are another super fun way to celebrate the season. Put your decorating skills to the test!
https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a50750/melted-snowman-cookies-recipe/ 

Will Howe '21
​The Zoroastrian tradition is one focused on the incessant battle between good and evil, represented by light and dark. For those that don’t know, Zoroastrianism is an ancient Persian monotheistic tradition whose origins are attributed to the priest Zoroaster. The religion’s “God” is Ahuramazda, a being of light that represents the good and battles Ahriman, the prince of evil. Fire and the sun are common symbols of the light in the Zoroastrian tradition. As such, many Zoroastrian rituals focus on fire (with one involving jumping over an open flame to cleanse a person’s spirit for the coming new year) and light. In winter, however, light is scarce - the nights grow longer and the black sky subsumes the sun. The winter is a time in which evil gains power, and the light struggles to fight back. 

The winter solstice is the end of this gloomy period - it is the longest night of the year, but afterward the days begin to grow in length, and the light grows stronger. This day symbolizes the final defeat of dark by the light for Zoroastrians, and though it is physically dark, peoples’ spirits are illuminated by the victory of light (metaphorically, people don’t turn into glow sticks). The solstice, known as Yalda, is a Zoroastrian day of celebration - in my family we spend the occasion huddled under blankets telling stories to one another. Like Christmas, the day is one to celebrate a change in the world for the better, with Christmas celebrating Christ’s birth and the subsequent salvation of man and Yalda celebrating the defeat of darkness. 

The solstice is not the only day of note in December for Zoroastrians. The priest Zoroaster died on the 26th of the month, and it is considered a day of mourning and study for those who follow Zoroastrianism. While it is not quite as popular with Iranian-Americans, it is nonetheless an important piece of Zoroastrian culture in the holiday season

I celebrate both Christmas and Yalda each year. While it may seem incongruous to follow two religions at the same time, the difference for me and for many other contemporary Zoroastrians is that Zoroastrianism is becoming progressively more cultural than theological. While Zoroastrians initially firmly believed in the existence of Ahuramazda, those beliefs have softened over time and more import has been placed on the rituals of the faith. This trend is especially evident in the expandingly atheist United States amongst Iranian-Americans. 

Zoroastrianism is unique amongst ancient religions in that it is monotheistic, and thus more compatible with religions like Christianity and Islam in our modern day. The belief in doing good and conquering the evil within oneself starkly resembles Christian values - the two religions synergize wonderfully, especially during the holiday season. The holidays are a time for people to come together, and what better way to do that than observe two cultures at once. 

Zach Leiter '21
​Recently, I had occasion to rewatch that great Christmas classic: Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life. If you haven’t seen it, you absolutely should, because while it does watch like a movie from 1946—the strange pastel colorization, the long steady camera shots—it’s a wonderful movie. Through the lens of angelic visions, the movie follows George Bailey, a small town sweetheart and moneylender, in his fight to fend off the greedy hands of the conniving Mr. Potter. Just when George’s life is on the brink—he’s seemingly lost his business and his freedom, and desires more than the simple life he has—Clarence, an angel, is sent to show George Bailey the effect his actions have on those around him. The angel shows George a world where he never existed, the plot hits a second climax, and you’ll have to watch the movie for yourself.

“Strange, isn't it,” the angel Clarence tells George at one point. “Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?” In the book Clarence gives George as a parting gift, the angel inscribes a similar message: “Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.”
We’re emerging, tentatively, from one of the worst years on record, or, at least, for as long as I’ve been alive. There’s a lot to be upset about and I won’t regale you with a list of misfortunes, or tell you what you can’t feel. I too miss the cross country meets and glass box antics and overcrowded, overheated, too-long dances. Yes, I reminisce through rose-tinted glasses, but I too long for a return to normalcy.

There is, however, also a lot to look fondly upon. These past months have brought hardships, but they’ve also brought countless memories, from marvelously attended Gov Clubs, to socially distanced walk/runs through D.C.’s criss-crossing streets, to solitary late night drives through the rain, listening to Dire Straits. I often picture, during those drives, my last conversations with friends before we part this spring—awfully nostalgic I know. Seniors, we have but a few months left together. I recognize the irony of calling for togetherness when we are seemingly more separate than ever before. But times like these show us the true nature of community.

There are a lot of you out there on the close, and while I know many of you, I don’t know all of you. Sorry underclassmen. But those of you I do know—especially the seniors—I hope you realize that we’re part of something bigger than ourselves. It sounds cliched, but every one of you really does play a separate role in forming our close community—a community that, as the years pass, only grows. Every one of your lives touches so many other lives. I can point to positive memories I’ve shared with each of you these past nine years.

There are negative memories too—highschool is… an experience. And we live in a polarizing era. None of us is perfect. Instead, we’re human. In this holiday season, it can often feel to me like my Jewish traditions and practices clash with the ambient atmosphere of forgiveness and holiday cheer. In the Jewish tradition, forgiveness is something that can only be received directly from the person one has wronged, before even God can forgive. Because your transgressions are separate from my life, I won’t try to erase your sins within a single article. But I will still try to embrace the holiday season.

That does not extend to listening to Christmas Carols pre-Thanksgiving—you know who you are.

Seniors again—cherish your last months. This isn’t the high point of our lives, but it is a formative one. I’m going to miss you, and many others, when we go to college. But, remember, “[nobody] is a failure who has friends.” As isolating as the moment seems, you all have people you care about, and who care about you. Embrace them. Sorry mom, not physically. Embrace the moment, live in it, and be merry and selfless. After all, the impact of George Bailey’s disappearance is so great due to his individual impacts on those around him.

These platitudes may very well be insufficient and you might still feel this strange melancholy that comes from missing out on so many rites of passage—I know I do. Embrace that melancholy too, and the bittersweet feeling of counting down the days. If you’re looking for a song recommendation that expresses that feeling, try Scott McKenzie’s San Francisco. Or, alternatively, Cascada’s Everytime We Touch.

In such a strange time, cherish the little moments and the friendships and the relationships that bring you joy. Keep hope. And remember, above all, that it’s a Wonderful Life.

Zachary Leiter, over and out.

Madeleine Fitzgerald '21

The Christmas season is my favorite time of the year. I love hearing the music playing in stores and on the radio. I love seeing the trees and wreaths up around the city. But my favorite part of the season are my family’s traditions which make it the most special holiday to me. Most of my mom’s family lives in eastern Canada, and every Christmas Eve, her father’s side gets together for a big party and gift exchange. I don’t get to see my extended family very often, so Christmas Eve serves as a family reunion of sorts. 
My immediate family always packs into the car and drives the 40 minutes from downtown Montreal, across the St. Lawrence river, and through the snow. Four generations of the Garcia family come together on the West Island of Montréal for a night full of food, jokes, and gifts. Throughout the year, we all hunt for either the perfect joke or gift, particularly the most coveted gift each year: movie tickets. Some people, actually just my cousin, bring the gift they want so they can purposefully pick it. Other people bring back the gift they got the year before. 
Once we all arrive, we drop our gifts by the tree and dig into a delicious dinner. My aunts make Filipino food, the best of which is her ensaymada. We have pancit alongside chocolate chip cookies and ham. The food display is far too large for even our family to finish, but it represents the beautiful mix of the newer Canadian traditions and those my family brought from the Philippines. Once we all put our plates down, someone is tasked with writing down everyone’s names onto slips of paper, and we put them into a bowl. Then, the games begin. Someone pulls the first name, and that person selects a gift. Once a gift is selected, it can be taken three more times. However, there is an unspoken rule that if a child selects a gift then they get to keep it for the entire game, given they like it. If they don’t, the other unspoken rule is someone has to take it from them. If your gift is taken, you get to take another one from the pile or take one someone has already opened. I always find this part of the game funny because while it is a Christmas celebration complete with cheery music and too many sweets, people are whispering to their partners or parents or kids about which gifts to steal. Nothing like a good dose of family rivalry on the night before Christmas. Everyone is trying to get the movie tickets unless they have recently been removed and then they are probably aiming for the set of chef knives. I always eye the Holt Renfrew bag, but I have learned my lesson with that one. My uncle Tony works at Holt Renfrew, the Canadian equivalent of Saks Fifth Avenue, so he always brings his present in one of the iconic pink bags. However, the present is never from Holt Renfrew, usually it’s a Winner’s tee shirt or something from Canadian Tire. The real fun of his gifts is not what it actually is but trying to guess what the posh wrapping is concealing. 
Once everyone has had their name drawn the game comes to an end. We all continue eating, listening to the music and attempting to get a group photo. Big hugs are exchanged and loose plans are made for Christmas and Boxing Day. The movie tickets are used for a Christmas Day movie and maybe someone will exchange their gift on Boxing Day, although that’s very rare. The whole night is so magical to me, and I never feel the Christmas spirit more than when too many of us are crowded into a living room around a beautiful tree with an abundance of wrapping paper spewed about. Stepping out into the snowy air some time past midnight and breathing in the first signs of Christmas day are made all the better by seeing my family waving and calling out “I love you.” I will miss this so much this year, but luckily, we are doing a Zoom Christmas Eve party, so, hopefully, that captures some of the magic. In whatever way you get to spend your holidays this year, I hope they are cheery and wonderful! 

Anita Li '21

​Hello Homo Sapiens,
It’s me, Chris. Chris Mustree. It’s that time of year, where a ton of you guys go around slaughtering my friends and family. Yeah, you got that right. You think The Purge is just a fantastical dystopian movie? Nope, not for us coniferous trees. Every winter, millions of us are kidnapped and dispersed across America without any legal consequences.
I’ve been lucky enough to not have my trunk severed by a suburban middle-aged dad, but I have heard rumors from the departed. They tell us scary stories of how you guys dress us without our permission. At what point did you guys decide that shoving shiny metal balls in our branches would be considered “cute?” You humans can barely manage to keep your masks on, don’t tell me what I should be wearing.
I know some of you might think, “Chris, you’ve gotta be getting some of the money we pay right?  How else would you grow into such a fabulous Fraser Fir?” 
Well to the point where my dear friend Maddie Lee ’21 told me that she paid $165 for one tree, I should be living in my own climate-controlled tree mansion. But we’re all huddled outside surrounded by snow, getting peed on by dogs and kicked by angsty toddlers. But even if you don’t believe that we deserve basic rights, no amount of money can make up for the families separated.
But not only has this brutal “tradition” destroyed the coniferous community, it’s created divisions as well. For years, whenever someone saw the White House employees pulling up to visit, they would rustle their branches to the tune of the National Anthem. Immediately, every tree gets a couple feet taller, every brown needle and droopy branch is shaken to the ground.
Two years ago, they chose my ex-girlfriend, Connie Forustree. I was so ready to do long-distance, and she told me she wanted to “make it work.” But then she became a celebrity, the prettiest plant in the phylum. At first, we’d communicate via PollenPost® all the time, but soon we started drifting apart. Two months later, she stopped waving her branches at me and started hanging out with the orchids in the Botanical Gardens…*sniffs*
Jokes on her anyways, Melania dunked her in red paint. 
Anyways, the reason why I’m writing this letter isn’t to talk about my love life, it’s to ask you for one simple favor: please get an artificial tree. Leave us evergreens alone. You want to celebrate Christmas with your family, and we do too.
I promise it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, a symbiotic relationship if you will. After y’all screwed up the economy, you don’t have the disposable income to buy a real tree that you’re gonna toss out in less than a month. In fact, after multiple linear regressions and some mathematical modeling, Nia Brown ’21 concluded that a fake tree and a can of “Fresh-cut Pine” scented Febreeze will get you much more bang for your buck.
If you would like to support the movement, please donate. My venmo is
@C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶-̶M̶u̶s̶t̶r̶e̶e̶Anita-Li-11.
Stay sprucey,
Chris