JT Willard '23
To the unassuming citizen, sharks and dolphins are simply creatures of the sea. They eat food, communicate among themselves, and are regular members of the animal kingdom. However, recent discoveries have provided substantial evidence that these creatures could be in use by Israel to spy on neighboring countries, even causing turmoil in the region. These provocative acts are by no means isolated incidents, as many West Asian and North African countries have felt the wrath of these aquatic agents. In Egypt and Gaza, there is sizable evidence suggesting that these animals are on an assignment to cause terror – driving away tourism, spying on citizens, and even launching small attacks. In some cases, these animals even have appeared to be under some sort of mind-control. If Israel continues using these sea creatures against nearby Mediterranean nations, what stops them from dominating all of the world’s oceans?
The first incident involving Israeli military sharks was in December 2010, taking place on the beaches of Sharm el-Sheikh. These beaches, which are located at the tip of the Sinai Peninsula, are a major tourist destination for Egyptian citizens, boosting the economy with its beautiful beaches and houses on the coast of the Red Sea. Israel, who did not want Egypt to receive such an economic benefit, was willing to do whatever it took to drive away tourists. Over a five day period, beaches in the area were viciously and relentlessly attacked by sharks, leaving five people dead. These attacks were perpetuated by oceanic whitetip sharks, a common species that tends to live in tropical and temperate waters. While these sharks can be unpredictable, they almost never come to the Sharm el-Sheikh region and are even less likely to appear during the winter. These sharks also rarely attack humans; in the past 500 recorded years, they have killed only nine people total. Finally, whitetips don’t tend to swim into shallow waters like those near Sharm el-Sheikh. These strange actions brought me and a diver named Mustafa Ismail to the conclusion that the sharks that attacked the beaches of Sharm el-Sheikh must be under some sort of mind-control, most likely by the Israeli government. To add on to this unusual and highly suspicious event, after the initial series of shark attacks, researchers discovered the first substantial proof that these sharks were acting as weapons inside of another oceanic whitetip: a GPS planted in its back. Why would a shark have such a device planted in its back if not for offensive purposes? Why would a shark travel so far just to eat some humans when there is plenty of food in the sea? If these examples do not provide enough evidence to prove that the Israeli government is using mind-controlled sharks as living weapons, there is another instance of water war that occurred with a seemingly less dangerous animal: a dolphin.
While countries like the United States and Russia have used dolphin technology to rescue Navy swimmers, detect mines, and recover lost objects, Israel seems to have attempted to use them for an attack. In August 2015, Hamas soldiers found arrows and espionage equipment inside of a dolphin. The creature even seemed to have video cameras in it. This dolphin was quite clearly taken by the Israeli government and sent out to hurt and destroy those living on the Gaza Strip. Not only does it seem to have been equipped with surveillance technology, but some sources also say that the dolphin could have been a robot! Whether or not this conclusion is correct, we all must beware of the possibility of cyborg dolphins and what that could mean for humankind in the future.
Although the U.S. is currently allied with Israel, sending them billions of dollars in defense money that could be used for these super swimmers, this aid does not prevent us from the possible threat that these animals could pose to our ecosystems, our peace, and our livelihoods. Be vigilant, don’t trust every shark you meet, and look closely the next time you see a dolphin, for it may save you from an Israeli attack.
This article is satire ;)