Satire by Max Niles '18
So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your rover,”--The lyric that has brainwashed millions, if not billions, of people worldwide into singing a nonsensical string of words. For those of you that have been living under a rock, the Chainsmokers, formed in 2014, are a DJ duo consisting of Andrew Taggart and Alex Pall. Over the past two years, they have formed a perfect fusion of tropical EDM music and catchy pop hooks. Now, some might say they are a harmless music duo just trying to have some fun and make a few bucks. I, however, disagree.
If you look closer (get it), you will find clear signs that they are trying to rule us into their submission. Their first song, Selfie, was a clear attempt to enter the mainstream media by making fun of such an integral part of culture. People either loved the satire of it all or hated it for how stupid it was, but regardless, the Chainsmokers had entered everyone’s mind. Skip forward to 2015 when they released Roses. The song was a huge breakthrough and showed the world that they were serious music group. Some disregarded this song as a reflection of their true sound, but it is clear that after careful consideration they had found the formula for world domination:
Tropical house beats that sound vaguely familiar + Female pop singers that can rock a chorus = songs that transfix generations of people
The release of Closer will one day go down as the beginning of the end of human civilization. All across the world, productivity has gone off a cliff as people simply can not resist listening to the sensational duet of Taggart and Halsey. Just the other day, my mom asked me t , “Play that bite that tattoo on my shoulder song.” If this is not one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, then I don’t know what is. Parents and kids liking the same songs? How is that possible? If the Chainsmokers have been able to cause such insanity, resistance is futile to their inevitable world domination.
Their latest song, All We Know, is essentially Closer 2.0. The song builds upon a strained relationship between lovers explored in Closer. The song oozes chill and shows that The Chainsmokers can not only make hype party bangers but also relaxed songs for everyday consumption.
The Chainsmokers can’t, and won’t, stop. For some reason, the end of EDM has brought together an electronic music group that, with no album, have become the second most listened to artist on Spotify. It’s easy to disregard the Chainsmokers a simple fruity music group, but in reality they are hellbent on world destruction.
Stay valiant my friends, The Chainsmokers can and will strike us with a full album, paving their path to world domination.
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