Story by Mabry Griffin '18 and Bota Saudabayeva '18
The hottest hub for business connections, in only the wealthiest part of McLean, as if they’d be caught dead anywhere else. Chipping at her gel manicure, Bota grows increasingly wary of the little kid playing on his Nintendo next to her, and inches away from his attempts to wipe his snotty nose on her sleeve. Mabry, on the other hand, is vibing with the preacher’s homily regarding Proverbs 31:6. They leave the service early, wave to Betsy DeVos and the kids, and saunter off to their next event du jour.
The girls recently renounced Uber, in attempts to distance themselves from their ancestral ties to Satan. They glanced a message board on DC Moms regarding “demon influences” and deleted their respective driving apps immediately. As they wait for their Lyft, they reflect on their paths to becoming better Christians. Bota mentions that they could convert to Christianity in the first place, but that doesn’t seem to add up so they pursue other routes. Baptism seems like a valid option for about thirty seconds, but Bota just washed her hair; if she gets it wet again the follicles might get greasy. After doing a quick Google search to remind herself what Lent is, Mabry suggests that they begin giving away free hot yoga classes to the underprivileged boys on the other side of the campus. Bota agrees that the publicity will gain them upwards of three more instagram followers, significantly improving their ratios. After all, the most humbling kind of work is done to the beat of Bruno Mars’ “Finesse”. After all, the two girls’ rippling ab muscles are worthy of mention on the Huffington Post.
Stay tuned for the next episode of “Bota and Mabry’s Search for Life, Lilly, and Pursuit of Trashiness"