by Smith Mohler '19
Electric, eccentric, and entertaining are all words tossed around when people talk about The Office Hour. I have heard some people refer to the podcast as a smoothie: a perfect blend of comedy and reading the news with precision. Some say we’re a podcast, and others say we are a cultural revolution, but Kyle Davies, a leading member of the group, believes that we are “the founding fathers of the high school podcast game.”
We have gathered together a team of four young, strapping lads who just love to deliver to the listeners. Our lowest ranking member, William “Numbers guy” O'Brien, is, believe it or not, an essential part of our podcast. He can be seen as a waterboy of sorts, allowing the star players to truly outshine his consistently poor performances. Some fun facts about William are that he likes to eat old cheese and sing in the shower. When asked who he saw himself as, in terms of a contributing member of the podcast, he said “I like to imagine myself as a Jackson Pollock type.” This is potentially one of the few things he has said that I wholeheartedly agree with. If you have ever seen a piece by Pollock, it is almost impossible to tell what message he is trying to get across, or if there even is a point to be made.
Aidan Stretch, one of our top three members, is the glue between the cracks of our dynasty. His grace, poise, and knowledge can be heard through the eloquent and formative ideas he vocalizes on the air. It comes as no surprise to me and the rest of the universe that Aidan is a foe to be reckoned with inside or outside of the classroom. Some fun facts about Aidan are that he knows the entirety of the alphabet, and can count up to the number 87. When asked who he saw himself as, in terms of a contributing member of the podcast, he said “Michael Jordan.” Through his efforts to better the St. Albans Community as a whole, Aidan Stretch embodies the main characteristics that presidential candidates usually have: knowledge, power, and confidence.
Kyle “The Rock” Davies, our North Star, has a 99% approval rating in terms of overall content. Being the creative genius that he is, Kyle is able to worm himself into the hearts of thousands of loyal fans. Not only can Kyle read, he can also write (only with monosyllabic words). Kyle may shine during our recording sessions, but he also grinds behind the scenes. He schedules our weekly recordings, talks to our sponsors (Nike, The Washington Capitals, and Ideal Life Clothing). Besides lifting weights and delivering the news, Kyle Davies spends his free time with his nine parakeets, whose names are Jacqueline, Demeatis, Pontius, Caesar, Kyle Senior, Pontius, Felipe, Paco, and Fred. When asked who he saw himself as, in terms of a contributing member of the podcast, “The Rock” said “God.”
Our final, and potentially number-one man, Smith “All-Star” Mohler, has been referred to as “the number one name in podcasting”. Smith has never held below a 97% average in his tenure at St. Albans. When asked about his college application process he said, “I expect to get in everywhere I apply, and if I do get rejected I will lie to everyone.” Not only can Smith make anyone's day brighter by lifting broken spirits, he can also draw well; flowers are his specialty. Some fun facts about Smith are that he is really cool and everyone likes him, and he can fix a mean iPhone. Smith Mohler directly compares himself to no one because, and I quote, “I am the peak of human existence.”
The Office Hour owes everything to its fans, and that is why they have decided to name them the “Officers”. If you are a fan of gaining knowledge, strength, and ethics, tune into the Office Hour. Godspeed.