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Story by Isabella Houle '19
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Story by Jasper Boers '18
According to the Nielsen Ratings, the Open Mind’s viewership dropped by 50% between its airing on Saturday, April 15th, and its most recent airing on Saturday April 22nd, with Diversity Forum occurring on April 19th. During the Forum, Heffner promoted his show, argued with various students about their political beliefs, and even used profane language during a Q&A session in front of the entire Upper School student body and faculty.
Satire by Jasper Boers '18  During the student council meeting at St. Albans this past Monday, the Diversity Forum committee voted unanimously to invite Milo Yiannopoulos as a second guest speaker. Mr. Yiannopoulos—an outspoken Trump supporter, member of the LGBT community, and a leader of the so-called “alt-right” movement—will address students and faculty of both the STA and NCS upper schools in the cathedral at 8 AM on Wednesday. Most recently, Yiannopoulos has criss-crossed the country, speaking at universities to promote his new book: “Dangerous.” One notable incident occurred at the University of California at Berkeley where his scheduled booking was met with violent protests and arson attempts. While he has not yet revealed his topic, Mr. Yiannopoulos will most likely use stories from his personal experience to elaborate on the forum’s theme—diversity of opinion.
Story by Mabry Griffin '18 and Bota Saudabayeva '18
Story by Katie Faith Leonard '18  Look friends, if you didn't go to Winfo, we get it. Dances are exhausting and sometimes you just aren't up for it. Maybe you ate Starbursts and Goldfish for dinner with your friends, or maybe you chilled with your dog and ordered take out. On the other hand, maybe you went to Winfo and danced your heart out against your, and some of your teachers’, better judgement! No matter what, I hope that you did what made you happy. Whatever you chose to do, we hope you laughed and sent as many ugly snapchats as we did...
 Story by Mannan Mehta '18 The first semester is finally behind us. Freshmen aren’t so fresh anymore, sophomores are continuing with their “chill year” and juniors have entered a new chapter of hell. The seniors, however, have entered a period of total bliss: nothing is important. It seems that in the nine days that have gone by since midterms, all cares have gone out the window. A shocking number of seniors have been reported sleeping in class, failing to even Sparknote their English readings, and in some instances, cutting class for mid-day Brueggers or Chipotle runs.
Satire by Max Niles '18  So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your rover,”--The lyric that has brainwashed millions, if not billions, of people worldwide into singing a nonsensical string of words. For those of you that have been living under a rock, the Chainsmokers, formed in 2014, are a DJ duo consisting of Andrew Taggart and Alex Pall. Over the past two years, they have formed a perfect fusion of tropical EDM music and catchy pop hooks. Now, some might say they are a harmless music duo just trying to have some fun and make a few bucks. I, however, disagree.
Story by Mannan Mehta '18
Satire by Phoebe Suh '18
Vast Disappearance of Yellow Fever Vaccines in US Disappoints Nation under Widespread Epidemic9/3/2016 Bota Saudabayeva '18  WASHINGTON, DC- As a monstrous yellow fever epidemic sweeps its way through the United States, Asian communities are devastated by the sudden disappearance of crucial yellow fever vaccines. After long periods of systemic ignorance, the United Nations ruled on September 2nd, 2016, to take control of the wide amounts of virulent weeaboos in the US by calling for the importation of exactly one million vaccines. However, due to the gross mismanagement of these lifesavers, many worry that their loved ones will not stop secretly coveting samurai sword collections in their basements and obsessing over anime cartoons.
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