The Exchanged Editors
ELLISON LIBRARY—December 16th, 2021 was a day of death. Of sorrow. Of mourning. On this day, The Saint Albans News fell into the trap of misinformation. Thanks to our investigative journalists, The Exchanged has uncovered evidence of fake polls published by News Editors-in-Chief Eliot Chang, ‘22, and Duncan Smith, ‘22, to punish competition. Shockingly, Ms. Dawson, long-standing member of the St. Albans English Department and new faculty advisor to The News, not only approved these polls but continues to display them on her office door. The Close lost one of its last reputable newspapers that day. What’s next to go? Gyre? The Albanian? BARK? We only have so much time before the allure of taking down The Exchanged corrupts these venerated publications.
Here's our evidence:
The fake poll published by the Saint Albans News. Recent polling (below) suggests that this is fictitious.
Quote from Ms. Dawson, the new faculty advisor to the News. She put it best: one can only “jokingly” claim dominance over The Exchanged.
Recent polling conducted by The Exchanged:
While BARK, under the guidance of Mr. Mills, is unable to be defeated, The Exchanged is a whole twelve percentage points higher than The Saint Albans News.