Alyssa Bui, '23
To my Precious Acuvue Oasys Contacts,
I hope we are reading this letter together. Ever since I became aware of your existence two years ago, I couldn’t help but want you. You see, my optometrist had mentioned you to me once. I didn’t want to scare you away, so I never told you that I searched you up online before meeting you. According to my sources, you were better than all the rest—strong, flexible.You were different. You wouldn’t hurt me. You wouldn’t leave me with red, teary eyes. After our first encounter, I knew our relationship would be long-lasting.
We’ve seen so many things. You’ve been with me through it all. I don’t need anyone but you, dear Acuvue Oasys. Who else would pull an all-nighter with me to study or binge the latest update of Attack on Titan? I even do my homework and take tests with you! You, Acuvue Oasys, are the only exception to my personal rule of working alone. Your clear lens opened my eyes. Now that you’re in my life, I can see the beauty of the world. Before I met you, I was struggling. I could only get glimpses of my surroundings through a murky lens. Glasses frames were inconvenient and Dailies always tore apart. Before you, everything was a blur; it was as if I was stumbling in the dark. I’m no longer blind with you, Acuvue Oasys.
I need you, so please don’t leave me, dear Acuvue Oasys. I know we’ve had our rough patches, like when I forgot to take care of you, and you shriveled up. Or when I forgot about you and never took you out. Or when I began eyeing your cousin, Acuvue Moist. I am ashamed of how I stopped appreciating the wonderful impact you had on me. It wasn’t until I attempted to complete a day without you, Acuvue Oasys, did I realize that desperately I need you.You make me better. You make me happy. You give me sight. On my own, I can only see the past and future. But with you, I can see the present. I love you.
I’m glad to hear from you. I have quite a few things to tell you, but I was not sure when to bring them up. First, I’m quite glad that you appreciate me. However, if you truly did love me, you would know better than to discard me on your desk carelessly each night. It’s not just me who is appalled by your actions. What would you mom say if she saw all the dried-up plastic lenses scattered on your desk? I’m not trash that you toss away.
Secondly, please refrain from staring at yourself so often. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not all that interesting. I’m more curious in your surroundings than your hair in the morning or whatever blemishes are on your face. I can understand your incessant need to take “selfies” with your friends, but your habit of glancing in every mirror baffles me. Don’t you want to see the world? Or at least let me see it? You should try people watching more. It’s quite interesting. So many colors and textures and new things to see! Why keep looking at the same-old you? I’m terribly sorry, but I don’t love you enough to enjoy constantly staring at you. I hope you can accept this and move on, so we can better enjoy life.
Thirdly and fourthly, spend less time looking at a screen and more time admiring beautiful 2-dimensional characters. Don’t you know that blue light is bad for my complexion? Don’t you know that you have dry eyes? It’s not a pleasant experience for me when your burning histamines try to melt me into your eyeballs. I can’t even look at anything then! I’ll dry out staring at your computer all day. Can you please let me look at something nicer instead? Something like the dashing Levi Ackerman from Volume 30 of Attack on Titan? Or perhaps the awesome Winry from Fullmetal Alchemist? They’re both beautiful people, you know. Very pleasing to the eye. Anyhow, admiring pretty pictures could possibly be a bonding experience for us, you know. I know that you wrote your letter to me sitting in a Barnes & Noble, by the way. Next time you go to the bookstore, please give me a break. We could’ve lovingly viewed the aesthetics of the manga section instead of glaring at your blank Word document. This response will be the first and last time I support staring at homework, since your teacher generously gave me the opportunity to file some complaints about our partnership.
1-DAY ACUVUE® OASYS®
Dear Stomach Problems,
Hello, again. It’s not good to see you. Thank you for constantly reminding me to watch what I eat and opt out of trying the questionable meat options in the cafeteria. It’s the highlight of my day to enjoy lunch and throw it back up two hours later. I love constantly feeling nauseous in my last period class, the one after lunch where we’re all already too tired. And of course, trying not to choke on Tums or Pepto Bismol during sports is such a blast. I hope you know that I will never, ever enjoy the taste of tums dissolving in my mouth. I also hope you screw off.
You’re so kind, to try and remind me that my stomach’s relationship with food isn’t how it should be! Perhaps if you didn’t remind me that I’m suddenly so very hungry I could cry, then I’d like you better. Or maybe if you didn’t make me regret eating everytime I finish a meal. Hmm, I wonder…what about you do I despise? Perhaps it is the fact that you never cease to leave me alone. Should I eat less to prevent nausea? Should I eat more to end the reflux? With you, it’s always “damn I do, damn I don’t!”
I would tell you to have a nice one, but that would be to wish for my own suffering. I hope there won’t be a next time.