Spencer Parizek, '23
I am non-binary, and I attend an “all-boys school.” The dress code, never mind our institution, acts under the presumption that all students are cisgender, which is blatantly transphobic and anti-inclusionist. Every bullet point or paragraph in the dress code (Student Handbook, page 11) specifies its application to “boys.” As no students are exempt from these passages, the Handbook implies that every single student, without exception, is a boy. This ideology leaves no room for the possibility of students being trans-gender; it implies that the gender, despite its fluidity, of all students, must align with the sex they were assigned at birth. My own experiences as an STA student have only confirmed these values. When I approached the school about GSA’s ideas, I was told that the “mission” of St. Albans is to specifically prepare boys for the world ahead. I proposed changes to school-wide policies, but members of the administration offered to help me as an individual, rather than the wider school community. In a group meeting between me and two adults, the person I was primarily talking to phrased it as concern for my own mental health, as the meeting also included Dr. Friend, but I recognized an undertone of resistance from said unnamed adult. He concluded with his comment about the school’s “mission” with the possibility of exceptions on a student-by-student basis. At first glance, this may seem helpful, but it requires students to be open about their gender and sexuality. As there are two students in the LGBTQIA+ affinity group at STA, these personalized exceptions leave the vast majority of closeted or questioning students to be exposed to the trauma of “brotherhood.” This means being misgendered daily by students and faculty, whether it be terms like “gentlemen,” “boys,” or “brother.” The result for trans students, like me, is a sense of personal disgust, discrimination, and exclusion. Over the past few months, I have been victim to this type of language and other seemingly aggressive acts towards my interpretation of the dress code. Teachers have applied double standards, calling me out when others are breaking the dress code often to a greater degree. Students have stared at my clothing, snickering under their breath. My peers have rolled their eyes when I discuss matters like these. Many have come to my defense, and for their assistance I commend them. But I often spend thirty minutes to an hour planning my outfit every night because I have to balance school-dress and my gender identity. Often, I am forced to wear a blue blazer—the very symbol of “brotherhood” and “masculinity” I try desperately to avoid. While this may seem insignificant to cisgender readers, I compromised my identity. Daily, I think about being misgendered, and the tropes of “brother,” and “St. Albans Man.” The dress code, a short policy in the Handbook, is emotionally draining and distracts from learning. While it would be better for my own mental health if I leave STA, that would be selfish. Future students will endure the same trauma I have. One of which I personally met during the STA open-house. A mom and her male, feminine-presenting child (who wore sparkly, pink shoes), approached the “Diversity and Inclusion” table, and asked Ms. Elliot, Ms. Denizé, and I about STA’s progress with gender. I told them inclusion was our priority, but in truth, throughout STA’s history, its “loving, accepting, brotherly,” and transphobic culture must have left hundreds of students with trauma and gender-dysphoria. My goal, along with GSA, is not to take away freedom of speech. Instead, we aspire to make space by broadening the school’s language, so all students at STA feel welcome and valued. GSA wants to broaden the dress code, eliminate the necessity of the tie, and open up for substitutions for the blazer. Blazers and ties, being typically male pieces, are incorporated into feminine fashion and “all-girls” schools, so why hasn’t the reverse, like skirts, been true for that of masculine fashion and “all-boys” schools? Our goal is inclusion, not the restriction of language. The dress code makes room for athletics but not gender. St. Albans compromises the sense of “professionalism” it prides itself on to allow varsity seniors to wear letter jackets. It even allows for sneakers instead of dress shoes. Clearly, said professionalism isn’t invincible to exception. Why are comfort and school pride anomalies but gender isn’t? Is “tradition” worth the jeopardization of the mental health, identity, and authentic familial bonds of St. Albans and its student body? -- A Note From The Editors-in-Chief (Updated Nov. 8, 2021, 3:56 P.M. EST): In the past twenty-four hours, this article has garnered a lot of attention from students and faculty members at both St. Albans and NCS. At this moment, we have decided to keep the comment section open and permit anonymity. However, we are actively removing all comments that are in anyway hateful towards the writer and/or groups of people, impersonate members of our school community, include profanity, are spam, or violate our Comment Policy in any other way. Unfortunately, we are students and cannot monitor this article 24/7, so if you see a comment that you believe violates this policy, please let us know (email addresses can be found on the "Letters to the Editor" page). We reserve the right to close the comment section at any time if we deem that it has gotten out of hand. If you would like to write a letter to the Editors-in-Chief, please click here. Anonymity is optional, and we may publish your letter if you request for us to do so. Update From The Editors-in-Chief (Nov. 8, 2021, 9:17 P.M. EST): Comments now require approval before being published. Your comment is more likely to be approved if the following conditions are met: 1) The comment lists your email address (only visible to the Editors-in-Chief); 2) The name is not a celebrity's name; 3) Your comment discusses the matters debated in the article; 4) Your comment follows the Comment Policy. The above guidelines are tips, but a comment does not necessarily need to follow them (with the exception of 4) in order to be approved.
127 Comments
Anonymous
11/7/2021 03:27:51 pm
So, you admitted yourself that it would be better for your mental health if you leave a rigid all boys school. The mission of St. Albans is not to be for everyone. Most people accordingly would not be drawn to a school that enforces a strict dress code and requires rigorous academic performance. St. Albans' acceptance rate is so low because they only want to accept people who they believe will prosper in the specific community that St. Albans creates. This low acceptance rate is an acknowledgement that St. Albans is not for everyone. For many myself included, the brotherhood of STA is incredibly beneficial and the dress code solidifies this brotherhood, so when I sighed on to pay $50k a year for this school, I signed onto this promise of the brotherhood. Imo the reason why Mr. Robinson is against changing the dress code and other male aspects of the school is because the goal of STA is to further the development of an all boys school into what it should be, a brotherhood. Although I agree with the sentiment about inclusion, St. Albans was created as a community for boys and men and it's culture and traditions serve the interest of boys and men. Thus, in order for STA to remain the brotherhood that it is with the values that benefit me and so many other boys, the dress code and other gender conforming traditions must stay part of the school.
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ANONYMOUS
11/7/2021 06:36:56 pm
This doesn't mean we as a school can't be more inclusive. I don't think Spencer is arguing to completely get rid of the dress code, but rather change is slightly to include non-binary people in it.
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 06:46:24 pm
I disagree. St. Albans is an all boys school, meaning that the school is meant for people who identify as boys. Even Headmaster Wilson said that anyone can be accepted to our school as long as they identify as a boy. This value and many others, including our dress code, are what uphold the tradition and history behind our school.
Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 07:03:30 pm
This^. The goal is to make room for individuals, which the anonymous writers here would know if they attended GSA. Almost every meeting we go over possible modifications for the dress-code. Before pushing your “tradition,” at least take the time to understand the hate it comes with.
Anonymous
11/7/2021 09:05:13 pm
Spencer mentioned that Mr. Rob is not doing enough by only making exceptions for individuals, so why is this “not doing enough.” That way we can include people who directly need it without interfering with traditionz
anonymous
11/8/2021 08:22:20 am
Spencer, it seems as if your are attempting to pressure me and most of the student body into conforming to your views. I will not conform to your views. I will not be persecuted for being a cis-gendered male who strives to upkeep the values of tradition in this amazing school of ours. If you do not love our school then i simply can not comprehend why you are still here. As you said, it would be better for your mental health.
Dani W
11/8/2021 06:13:53 pm
This is an incredibly well said and valid point and the fact that the point of their article is flying over your heads is embarrassing. Most of these transphobic comments claiming changing the dress code is oppressive are from cis-gender WHITE males. You are the highest level of privileged kids; you go to an expensive, majority white, American prep episcopal school in DC. What oppression could you possibly face and or experience attending STA?? Traditions CHANGE. What sense does it make to keep things from decades ago that no longer apply now, especially when they are hurting your peers. The spirit of your school will remain the same with skirts just as well as it has without. The anonymity just illustrates that it’s not tradition you’re worried about. If you really felt so strongly about the tradition at your school your names would be shown, but they’re not. If you’re right why should there be any reason to hide? The reason you’re remaining anonymous is not because you’re afraid of getting cancelled (which is already a trash excuse). You are well aware of the transphobia in your comments. This is not about your personal opinion, this is plain discrimination that you are choosing to ignore. Spencer did not ONCE say you all had to wear skirts or any other feminine clothing. Not a single person is forcing you to do anything at all. You can keep wearing your suits, and your ties. But YOUR VIEWS cannot infringe on other people’s right to wear what they want. They shouldn’t have to change schools just to receive the BARE MINIMUM level of expression. I’m assuming most of you are not trans or non-binary students NOR know a single thing about it (considering none of you show up to GSA) yet you are openly forcing others to conform to your beliefs? It’s unbelievable the amount of hate in these comments for something so easy to change, so simple to understand. How can you say these things fully knowing you have LGBTQIA+ students at your school reading this??? Can you imagine how they feel reading your comments? No, you can’t. Not because you don’t care, but because you can not and will not understand the feeling of being isolated for something you cannot control, for something as simple as wearing a piece of clothing . Widening the dress code should not be such a controversial topic where almost all of you feel the need to drag down other students for trying to be who they are.
Anonymous
11/7/2021 06:41:29 pm
STA wasn't built to create 'brotherhood', it's a school, it was built for male people to learn. Tradition was never included in the mission statement.
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 09:05:47 pm
STA would be nothing without tradition. What are you talking about?!?! No BEEF, No Chapel, No C formers walking in with sixth formers, no family-style lunch, are you kidding me. These are all traditions. Tradition is what separates us from other schools. STA was created to teach students but without these sacred traditions we would not be as great of a school as we are today. The dress code is another sacred 100 year tradition. Your argument putting down and disregarding tradition makes absolutely zero sense.
A very proud alumn
11/7/2021 08:37:10 pm
For starters, I’d like to ask, are you the one spending 50k a year to go to STA? Or is it your parents/legal guardians doing so? For the most part, minors don’t fully undergo the admissions process, fill out the paperwork, sign the checks, and voluntarily commit to sending themselves to a private high school like St. Albans. The fact no highschooler would realistically (or even legally) be allowed to do that gets to one of Spencer’s key points; no non-binary (whether open or closeted) at any point in STA’s history voluntarily went through the process to get in, and virtually none of them have the ability to opt out without their parent(s) or guardian(s) having the final say. Spencer is calling for the dress code and the culture around labels to change for the sake of all non-binary students, especially those who have absolutely no choice but to continue attending St Albans. Spencer, if you’re reading this please know I am extremely proud of you for being brave and compassionate enough to openly make this point.
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Anonymous
11/8/2021 12:46:27 am
This argument seems incredibly far fetched. Are you really suggesting that youth have no influence on the school they choose to attend? I understand that parents are the ones that pay the bills and therefore hold the ultimate power (because they are adults) but the idea that a parent is going to send their child to a school without allowing significant input from that child seems highly unlikely and extremely rare at best. In the case of St. Albans and the Washington, DC area, there are schools across the DMV with fantastic scholastic curriculums that fit many different types of kids. If a child is unhappy at a school, it is the duty of the student to advocate for themselves to find a better place and the duty of the parents to find the best possible school to fit the individual needs of their child. Anything less than that is negligent.
Anonymous
11/8/2021 08:22:06 am
This is well-articulated and encapsulates my thoughts on the issue. The author openly states that he choses not to leave; as such, he has no leverage with which to demand the school's traditions be changed. STA is, always has been, and always will be an all-boys school. The school is pretty upfront about that fact--it's not a place for everybody. There are plenty other independent schools meant for everybody--Sidwell, Maret, and GDS are all coed and have no dress code. Perhaps the author would be better suited to attend one of those institutions, rather than a school which is openly all-boys.
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anonymous
11/8/2021 08:46:22 am
Spitting fax bro
Anonymous
11/8/2021 11:57:43 am
Remove the dress code. Freedom of expression is important.
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Dani W.
11/8/2021 05:40:42 pm
So you’re saying since STA is this great, big, expensive school most people could not even afford, they suddenly have the right to actively oppress other students? You don’t need to promote inclusion to participate in it. Are you even aware what you so precisely described is clear discrimination?? Discrimination is not a “privilege” you gain just because you’re a prep school. I don’t think you truly believe that adding a skirt to the dress code suddenly stops STA from “furthering your development” as people. Clothing does not define your masculinity, you will have the same masculinity with skirts than you did without. If the masculinity of your school can be broken so easily because someone wants to wear a SKIRT then it was never strong to begin with. The reason these rules aren’t being changed is not to maintain your “masculinity” it’s because of the transphobia deep rooted in your school (along with many, many, MANY other issues). If a mere skirt is all it takes for your traditions and system to fall apart, then what you should be focusing on isn’t your clothing, it’s the fragility of your school.
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Bulldog Alum
11/12/2021 01:09:50 pm
that ‘masculine mission’ would take a big hit if someone went back to research the decades of history of predatory, sexual and abusive behavior from faculty towards boys - especially 1960s-1980s and especially from faculty that lived in the dorms.
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STA Alum 2005
11/12/2021 02:05:52 pm
The most obvious item to mention here is that, by and large, the students, while they are students, hate the dress code. For the majority, that's not due to any impassioned stance, its because the dress code is a hassle. Another thing to add to the list of stresses and worries at 7 am every weekday morning and throughout the day as far as adherence until going home. We used to do everything we could to subvert the dress code.
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AnnaSophia Nicely
11/7/2021 06:20:35 pm
Hi, this is AnnaSophia. Thank you for writing this Spencer! I too am tired of seeing issues of transphobia and gender politics being treated as individual and personal mental problems. I'm tired of the silencing, the ridicule, the backlash. It's exhausting. I think what some people, especially others who have commented on this article, need to realize is that non-binary and trans people (and communities) have always existed. The history of these communities does not lie separate from everyone else's. Queer people, especially gender nonconforming people, have fought the same battles while also having to put up with the scrutiny of others, particularly religious groups that have spread hate throughout the centuries. I'm sick of being treated like we are sick. At the core of it, I'm tired of people telling us to change, to "leave if we're so upset". This isn't just about change, it's about taking back what rightfully belongs to us, and shaping our communities into ones that accept and cherish us for what we add to them. We have existed forever, just like you. We're not going to wait for traditions to fade, and for social norms to stop kicking us into the ground over and over again. These are our communities, our schools, our creations that we have always had to take part in with caution. And if you're not brave enough to put your name on a hateful comment, if you'd rather stay in the shadows and remain fearful, that's your decision. Change is coming because these places have always been ours. And If you don't like that, you can leave.
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Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 06:38:48 pm
<3
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 06:44:22 pm
The first comment is not hateful just because it disagrees with the argument presented in the article. It is unfair to label everything that you disagree with as offensive or hateful.
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 06:51:25 pm
I'd disagree, it is an opposite opinion, but it is hateful because it ostracizes non-binary genders and basically implies that non-binary people should just piss off which *is* hateful. The addition of wealth dropping is just a way to imply a power imbalance between the author and Spencer. The idea that St. Albans isn't for everyone just reinforces the idea that masculinity exists only on the plane of toxic masculinity, which is not hateful, but it is harmful. And generally the tone is aggressive and hostile, which also isn't hateful but is threatening and even just reading it makes me feel unsettled
Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 06:58:19 pm
Anon, ASN never said the mere possibility of disagreement indicates hate. In the first comment, the writer was pretty neutral overall, but they had few comments with undertones of aggression. They mentioned my own comment about leaving STA, but they followed it with language that indicated the mental strain was my own choice. Apparently, as I choose to attend this school, the offenses mentioned above should be givens or consequences? They repeated language regarding STA’s mission, brotherhood and exclusiveness. Not only did they mention “STA’s mission” was more important than inclusion, but the writer also valued the very language I said was harmful to me and others like me.
Anonymous
11/7/2021 06:59:48 pm
With all due respect, St. Albans is an all boys school. It is not meant for everyone, and it never has been. When people sign the contract to attend the school, they agree to the institutions that are of course catered toward males because of it being a school for boys only.
Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 07:10:06 pm
Anon, you fail to account for the fluidity of gender. Also, try not to confuse sex and gender please.
Anonymous
11/8/2021 09:09:14 am
Spencer, to be accepted to our school, you must identify your gender as male, negating the need to address gender fluidity. Throughout your article, you were implying that the administration was not doing enough, the administration you are referring to in Mr. Rob.
Demarcus Cousins
11/8/2021 09:29:54 am
Annasophia,
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 06:37:16 pm
Spencer,
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Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 06:44:23 pm
<3,
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 07:17:17 pm
"The general objectification of women and the opinions about queer issues are pretty indicative of the lack of a dynamic sense of self and of masculinity that STA not only harbors, but encourages."
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 07:24:52 pm
That point is absolutely true, and I appreciate you for bringing it up. In my attempts to emphasize the culture of toxicity, I generalized which certainly cut short those in school who disagree with objectification and who support the queer community. I was merely trying to highlight a pattern which I have noticed many (but certainly not all) people have encouraged and continued. The frustrating truth is that it is hard to capture this in a nuanced way, because this is a very distinct issue. While not all students support this behavior (and in fact I'm positive many don't), general interactions in an average school day uphold these actions whether actively or passively. I appreciate you bringing this point to mind and allowing myself to clarify my point.
Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 07:33:54 pm
Then why is your priority to argue instead of understand or learn? STA’s culture, as you’re demonstrating right now, does not value queer issues. Instead, it brushes them under the rug. Whenever the idea of queerness or gender are brought up during announcements at lunch, heads are shook and people groan. You defend the generalized language of “boyhood” under STA’s values… while also critiquing the “generalization” that calls out the devalued nature of queer issues, the exact same subject? Don’t defend your active ignorance by picking out possible flaws in arguments that call you out for your BS.
Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 07:38:50 pm
I echo Anon’s response about the problematic nature of generalization, but my experiences of hate are more prominent or frequent than those of acceptance or rare inclusivity.
Anonymous
11/7/2021 10:00:58 pm
It's truly amusing to see so many commenters decry the "masculine" environment at St. Albans. It's an all-boys school with a dress code, and it has been since its inception. That is, quite frankly, the core essence of the school, and there are plenty of coed schools without dress codes that people who don't like that could try.
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anonymous
11/8/2021 08:47:47 am
yep 100% agree
Anonymous
11/7/2021 07:49:40 pm
I strongly disagree with this idea. I do not think it is fair to label St. Albans as actively transphobic for creating a dress code catered for boys. After all, it is an all boys school. I guess I don’t really understand the necessity to adjust the dress code for gender-fluid students when St. Albans is a boys school. If you want to express your gender that’s your decision, but I don’t think it should be done by actively trying to break the school’s rules. And if someone no longer identifies as a boy, the school’s characteristic of being an all-boys school most likely plays a larger role than the dress code.
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Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 08:18:46 pm
Babe, the last point you mentioned is the exact problem. That’s the whole argument. People respond by saying “isn’t it an ALL BOYS school,” when it in fact, is not all boys. Not all the students that attend the school identify as a boy, me included. STA’s firmness in its impossibility of having a student discover their gender over time is transphobic, by definition. GSA just finds adjusting the dress-code and using inclusive language more realistic (literally small potatoes) in comparison to the “all boys” nature. It’s literally no one’s expense to adapt the dress-code. The lack of mobility regarding that exact issue is wherein the problem, ie TRANSPHOBIA, lies.
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 08:28:21 pm
I'm confused- are you implying that all single sex schools are inherently transphobic?
Anonymous
11/7/2021 08:52:53 pm
St. Albans School is an independent college preparatory day and boarding school for boys in grades 4–12, located in Washington, D.C. The school is named after Saint Alban, traditionally regarded as the first British martyr. Within the St. Albans community, the school is commonly referred to as "S-T-A."
Anonymous
11/7/2021 08:54:05 pm
^ copied from the school's website
Anonymous
11/7/2021 08:55:54 pm
Please do not call me babe. First of all it is at someone’s “expense” to adjust the dress code. It breaks over 100 years of tradition rooted in this school’s rich education system for young men. It also is objectively not transphobic to not change the rules at the snap of a finger because a few of the school’s students are exploring their genders. St. Albans is a private school in which you enrolled, and agreed to follow the rules. Some of these rules surround the dress code, made for boys, which isn’t really an issue considering it’s an all boys school. I guess my point is, if someone is so content about not wearing St. Albans dress code, maybe a more inclusive school without a dress code would be a better fit. At the end of the day those are the rules, and it isn’t transphobic to not drop everything and change the rules for the 2 percent of people that likely agree.
Anonymous
11/7/2021 09:05:05 pm
Correction
Anonymous Squirrel
11/7/2021 09:35:00 pm
So are all “All boys schools” actively transphobic?
Teddy Palmore
11/7/2021 09:56:17 pm
If expanding the dress code to allow students more self-expression "breaks 100 years of tradition," this tradition must be exceedingly weak.
Anonymous
11/7/2021 10:02:42 pm
It is an all boys school by its very nature. The reality that one or more students don't identity as male doesn't change that.
Jim
11/7/2021 10:03:32 pm
So then what’s the point in the dress code in the first place. It’s just a dress suggestion, not a code at that point. Anyone can then chose wether or not they want to wear school dress. That factually does uproot our tradition of wearing ties and blazers at STA.
Teddy Palmore
11/7/2021 10:16:36 pm
The dress code is for discipline. Nothing about making it more inclusive changes this fact. If, as people are saying, this change would affect very few students, then its impact would be very small on the community as a whole, and potentially profound for Spencer and others for whom the dress code is a burden. Also, it's not like with this proposal "anyone can choose whether or not they want to wear school dress"... The proposal is to expand the dress code, not abolish it. Formal clothes will still be a requirement.
Anonymous
11/8/2021 05:57:05 pm
Name one student who was admitted to STA who didn’t identify as a male when applying. You certainly did. Just because you now don’t identify as male doesn’t mean it’s now not an all boys school
Will Marino
11/8/2021 03:36:15 pm
I think it must be taken into account that STA was founded in 1909, and thus it doesn't make sense to follow an out dated dress code suited for a period of time when it was not socially acceptable to identify as anything except for your birth gender. As times change so must tradition.
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Wei
11/7/2021 08:08:19 pm
You are an inspiration for trans students all around the Close, people like you make our school(s) a better place.
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Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 08:19:22 pm
<3 !
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 08:30:49 pm
Saying St. Albans is “blatantly transphobic and anti-inclusionist” based off the dress code is quite far-fetched. The school was created and has developed as a school for people who identify as boys. It makes sense for us to have a dress code that is directed at boys. We have said that if someone chooses to transition, and they identify as something other than a male during their time at St. Albans, they can stay a part of our community. Therefore, we address those situations individually as the teacher you spoke to said, because the school is an all-boys school. We will stay an all boys school, just as most all-girls schools in the area will stay all-girls. There are many schools that do not distinguish between genders, and those schools likely make more sense for people who are non-binary. If we were to change our dress code rules would anyone be able to chose if they wore a tie or not? Or just people who identify as something other than boys? To me, that doesn’t seem “inclusionist”.
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 08:34:20 pm
Amen brotha
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 08:36:00 pm
^
Anonymous
11/7/2021 08:52:12 pm
Lowk wouldn’t be that upset if I didn’t have to wear a tie either, or a varsity jacket those look comfy af
Anonymous
11/7/2021 10:05:00 pm
I appreciate the rational thought contained within this comment--it's quite frankly shocking that such a prestigious school would produce such incoherent rhetoric from some other commenters. St. Albans is an all boys school--that is what families pay $50,000 per year for. It would be absurd to shatter the core identity of the school for the sake of one student's wishes.
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Jorge Guajardo
11/7/2021 11:20:37 pm
A big point of the article is that it's not just one student's wishes.
Anonymous
11/8/2021 08:25:57 am
@Jorge Guajardo
anonymous
11/8/2021 08:37:02 am
Jorge, I understand that it is not just one student's wishes, however, this reform is supported by the GSA. The school still will not change our dress code for a very small minority of students who support this reform, given how significant the code is to the rest of the student body.
AB
11/8/2021 02:41:58 pm
I want to reply to your comment justifying why there shouldn't be a change. Your argument is that the students most affected negatively by the dress code are minorities which is why there shouldn't be change. Does this not sound wrong to you? This excuse to act conservatively rather than creating change was and is used by white racists, believe it or not. Wanting to keep minorities (same word you used) oppressed and treating them as less than the majority who are white. Smh. Change is important and change is good. We need to be act more liberal rather than conservative in this day and age!
Anonymous
11/7/2021 09:03:06 pm
The dress code is steezy tho 🤷♂️
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 09:51:49 pm
Ong
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Anonymous Iguana
11/7/2021 09:19:08 pm
Spencer takes issue with the fact that STA exists as a boys school with traditions that caters to males because “gender is very fluid.” However, at STA 99%+ of students identify as male and the majority of people in society as a whole are gender conforming. So, is building a school around male traditions that benefit the vast majority of males (who are gender conforming) such a bad thing, or should all boys/all girls schools not exists? Traditions of brotherhood and masculinity are clearly not beneficial to some, but should they be removed against the will of the vast majority of students who are benefitted by them?
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Jack Marino
11/7/2021 09:28:27 pm
So I am pro free dress for totally different and selfish reasons, but what is the problem with individual exceptions Mr. Robinson is willing to grant already, which allow for most of the students (who identify as male) to observe the “tradition” mentioned in Sascha’s article?
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 10:14:01 pm
I wholeheartedly concur. It seems to me that the author of this piece merely seeks to impose his political views on the entire community, many members of which do not share even remotely similar views. I, along with the vast majority of my peers, came here for the traditions and values it espouses. Every year, our parents pay more than the median American income for us to go here, and the vast majority of them chose this school for how it prepares us to enter the world. The dress code, along with the traditions the author dislikes so much, are the backbone of the school, and what differentiates it from other (and lesser, in my personal opinion) institutions.
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anonymous
11/8/2021 08:15:34 am
I agree 100%
Anonymous
11/8/2021 03:58:03 pm
Since when do kids pay their own tuition? Ever heard of a parent? If you have a job in high school that pays “more than the median American income” let me know 🧐
Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 10:06:41 pm
I am not going to waste my time arguing with anonymous people on the internet. Come to GSA and learn for yourselves.
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Jack Marino
11/7/2021 10:25:09 pm
Not sure if that was directed at me or anonymous, but I am not trying to debate the basis of your point, j wondering your response to a common counterargument. Also not sure why anonymous responded to this.
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 10:07:52 pm
I mess with ur message Spencer
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Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 10:15:33 pm
Thank you all sooo much for taking the time to read my article and discuss this very important issue. Your discourse means a lot to me! I’m so glad y’all are taking the time out of your days, despite STA’s busy, busy work-load to respond. I’m so proud that y’all are taking the time to talk about it ☺️! God loves you all, and She’s proud of all the work y’all are doing ;)
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Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 10:38:01 pm
Also,
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AnnaSophia Nicely
11/7/2021 11:17:21 pm
Wrote my gay english essay on this book. Truly a banger 👌
John Rhee
11/7/2021 10:29:34 pm
Not relevant to the topic, but rn we're at 46 comments, which makes this the second most controversial article of exchanged history (current record is 100 from T. Baker '22 in the Curriculum Issue 19-20).
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Anonymous
11/7/2021 11:22:03 pm
bro that against religion article was crazy
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Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 11:36:33 pm
Funnily enough that’s where my exchanged experience began lol. I wrote PARAGRAPHS on it.
Anonymous
11/7/2021 10:43:42 pm
I see where you’re coming from a bit, and if the dress code stayed mostly the same and still formal, it could definitely be a positive change. What I struggle to see is a middle ground between what we have right now versus what would basically be free dress. Can you give some kind of example or adjustment/amendment to the dress code you want to implement? Like would you just get rid of ties or get rid of blazers? What would you want the rewritten dress code to look like? I’m sure more people would be open to it if you straight-up said what you want changed in the dress code, especially considering that what you might call formal would be probably be different than what many others would call formal. Just a question, thanks for your time.
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ANONYMOUS
11/7/2021 11:33:13 pm
Agreed. I think way fewer people would have a problem with a more accepting dress code as long as it still feels as formal as a suit and tie.
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Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 11:40:07 pm
Hi! Thank you for your question! GSA is tackling that right now. We only want to adjust the gendered nature, not the formality. We’re thinking of alternatives for the blazer, like a cardigan. As for the tie, we might try eliminate that as a requirement? Or, we might find another alternative for it. Another idea was the addition of a blouse. Both Fashion Club and GSA are working on that right now. Thanks!
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AnnaSophia Nicely
11/7/2021 11:14:28 pm
Interesting how the only non-anonymous writers are in support… if you’re not in the wrong, what are you so afraid of?
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Anonymous
11/8/2021 12:26:36 am
Getting cancelled simply for a differing opinion I’d say
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ANONYMOUS
11/7/2021 11:31:09 pm
As a current student who is cisgender, I really appreciate hearing a voice that differs from mine. I think a lot of people are misinterpreting this as "abolish dress code and tradition". From my understanding, it seems like this will be a relatively minor tweak to dress code that will just allow for a wider range of students to feel accepted in our community. I will personally never understand being uncomfortable wearing a suit and tie, but I have absolutely no problem with the rules being tweaked so that students can wear formal dress that is a little less bounded. That way, we can maintain the professional dress code we've always had, but be less constricting to some of our student body (specifically a group of people that can't always be public with their personal identities).
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Spencer Parizek
11/7/2021 11:41:11 pm
This^ Thank you so much!!! :)
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anonymous
11/8/2021 08:42:14 am
Broski, having skirts and blouses as part of the dress code of an all boys school is not a small tweak.
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Anonymous
11/8/2021 09:01:14 am
Broski, no one is forcing you to wear them so why do you care so much.
anonymous
11/8/2021 09:18:16 am
Broski, I care cause no one is gonna change the dress code lmao.
Anonymous
11/8/2021 12:04:21 pm
Yessss!!
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JT
11/8/2021 07:43:59 am
The funny part is 90%+ of the ppl commenting against the article were hype when it was announced last year that we wouldn’t have a dress code, and now that someone has a legitimate argument against it that doesn’t line up with their pre-conceived ideas of gender and manhood, they talk about the tradition they just started caring about. Why does it affect you if someone shows up to school in a dress? If it’s because you feel more comfortable in a strongly cisgender male environment then 1. The school really needs to consider its mission if it wants to prepare people for the ‘real world’ 2. Do you think it’s any easier for that person to be surrounded by a culture they don’t identify with 3. Is it really that hard to just accept people and not force them out of your community because they want to feel happy being themselves.
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Anonymous
11/8/2021 03:45:38 pm
Hey JT, this is probably the most thought out comment I've seen and its completely right lol
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Sascha Hume
11/8/2021 09:41:10 am
Since we're now at around 80 comments I'll just say that I don't think my article really contradicts Spencer's at all. Broadening the dress code to include other options (like skirts as Spencer mentioned) sounds like a good idea. I just want there to be a dress code of some sort. Ours is already relatively lax (e.g. shoes, sweaters/turtlenecks, letterman jackets) so adding in some other options for gender non-conforming people isn't so big a deal. Seems like most of the comments are arguing about the nature of STA/"boys school" rather than the actual proposed changes anyway.
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Anonymous
11/8/2021 10:47:51 am
If the dress code gets changed, I'm going to prep.
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Kanye West
11/8/2021 10:56:37 am
I'm not really feeling this article tbh
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Nick Alexander
11/8/2021 03:06:46 pm
Leaving a school is a lot harder than you think it is.
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100th comment
11/8/2021 11:11:37 am
💯
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Stop insulting for a start
11/8/2021 11:14:32 am
The idea that St. Albans is obliged to include multiple genders actively into the dress code is completely ridiculous. Especially the fact that you are calling St. Albans transphobic. Male is a gender. Female is a gender. you could argue that there are other genders. If St. Albans were to cange their dress code to meet the needs of genders other than male, it would make the school a multi-gender school. We can't just change the rules of St. Albans like this, because where would it end? will people of gender other than male(I understand there are female bathrooms so not including females) then demand for new bathrooms? would admissions eventually be affected? If you just call St.Albans transphobic whenever there is something that you think is wrong, by your own standards, you aren't exactly considereing what this school was built on. If you really want change, don't just make irrational claims that St. Albans is transphobic without things in place to change it. If you really want people to listen to what you have to say, it doesn't help to immediatly insult them. make some rational writing that people can understand, and outline your points for all to see.
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Anonymous
11/8/2021 11:17:52 am
This sentiment of being a selfless martyr for future and past gender fluid students is a bit dramatic and self righteous. You are not leading some revolution, you are self pitying. It’s hard to sympathize with the fact that you spend 30 minutes to an hour picking out an outfit, when a main purpose of the dress code is to be uniform so that not much thought is involved and the primary focus can be on learning. Those who have grievances about what you wear do not have a problem with your gender identity, but rather your repeated violation of the dress code that we have to follow. Your gender identity is not a choice, but your expression of which is certainly a choice.
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Nick Alexander
11/8/2021 03:10:25 pm
Why not give people more room to express their gender?
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Norah Kanukolanu
11/8/2021 12:39:16 pm
I just don’t see how you can be so willing to shut down your classmate’s plea for equity. All Spencer is asking for is to have a school environment where they feel comfortable in exploring their gender identity, and reaffirmed in their process. Nowhere in this article do they call for the dress code to be dissolved, they just ask for it to be more inclusive, which will in no way impact the STA experience. Those of you against this article, especially those of you who went so far as to make transphobic comments, should do some reflecting on what kind of person you want to be; because it seems to me like you’re stuck in the past.
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Eva Vickerman
11/8/2021 12:43:37 pm
facts on god 💪
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Spencer Parizek
11/8/2021 01:02:52 pm
YESSS <3
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Ani
11/8/2021 03:50:04 pm
Transphobia isn’t as trendy as they think it is 🙄 why are they so committed lmao😭
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Eva Vickerman
11/8/2021 12:39:38 pm
Quite frankly, I'm appalled by the comments under this article. I feel like Spencer is just advocating for a change in the STA dress code to be more accepting of non-binary and transgender people, not advocating for the abolishment of the dress code entirely. The people writing these comments honestly need to reflect and wonder why they're so against the inclusion of nonbinary and transgender people. I feel like some people are using the excuse of STA's longstanding traditions to excuse transphobia, which is not okay. While I understand that STA has traditions that are important to the school's core foundation, adjusting the dress code to be more welcoming does not need to be this big of a discussion. As Spencer mentioned in one comment, the dress code could be altered to have more options such as cardigans or blouses, but be formal enough to carry the same tradition. I don't understand why some people are against changes that would help their peers feel more welcomed.
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Spencer Parizek
11/8/2021 01:04:31 pm
<3.
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Anonymous
11/8/2021 12:54:05 pm
Transphobic: having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against transsexual or transgender people.
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A queer NCS student
11/8/2021 06:37:37 pm
First of all, your personal preferences are VERY different from gender expression. Gender expression is something that validates WHO YOU ARE in a very fundamental way that can make you a fuller person. You (the commenter) wearing more formal clothes does not contradict your very identity as a human being. Nice that you are trying to connect more. Maybe you could do that even better and have a more inclusive view by going to GSA
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ANONYMOUS
11/8/2021 01:32:52 pm
We as a school LOVE to wear our kilts at BEEF club. What’s the issue now?
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Raging Scotsman
11/8/2021 01:43:41 pm
It’s a kilt not a skirt. Get yo money up not yo funny up.
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AB
11/8/2021 02:04:39 pm
Yes! Less restrictions in a dress code = freedom of expression! It is very important to have that freedom; to be able to choose how you want to express yourself.
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Nick Alexander
11/8/2021 02:52:54 pm
Some of y'all in the comments don't seem to realize that a change in the dress code isn't a personal attack. Changing the dress code won't force you to wear dresses and skirts. It's simply giving other people more options.
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AB
11/8/2021 06:40:08 pm
Exactly 👏
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Ben Acosta
11/8/2021 02:57:35 pm
Before coming to St. Albans, my knowledge and concern regarding the struggles queer people face was really quite limited. Like many of you, I came to this school to receive a rigorous, holistic education, surrounded by a bolstering ‘brotherhood,’ and to be prepared for a professional future. And that has been my experience more than my freshman self could have ever expected. Not despite people like Spencer, but because of them. Spencer has helped me learn not only about the queer community around me, but also about myself, about my own gender expression—that even as a cisgender male I do not have to feel constrained by the masculine constraints inherently trained in me. Though I do not agree with all of his points, Spencer’s willingness to speak out has been pivotal in the development of the open-mindedness that is so important to a complete education and has been in many cases more integral to my preparedness for the world than knowledge of any math theorem or historical event will ever be. While St. Albans’ may be steeped in tradition it is also diverse, and our growth in beauty of mind occurs when we let down our guard enough to hear what is being said. If, after hearing Spencer’s voice we allow ourselves to leave St. Albans more understanding and compassionate, we have become that much more prepared for the world ahead that is even more diverse than here, and Spencer will not have been better off at a more inclusive school but rather will have been right where he belongs. You certainly don’t have to agree, but please take a moment and think about what he is saying before you jump to the defense of STA tradition just because it is what you are comfortable with. Thanks Spencer for being such an active force in the growth of the school and its individual students.
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Alex Acosta
11/8/2021 04:36:38 pm
A classic Acosta saying here: "Don't let academics get in the way of your education"
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JT
11/8/2021 07:36:53 pm
Come to GSA if u want to debate and learn abt the specifics of a possible dress code change. Nothing is set in stone right now.
Spencer Parizek
11/8/2021 03:38:59 pm
I quickly want to note that while I do address the goals of GSA, I have no authority to dictate it’s mission or values as a whole. The GSA is an alliance with a variety of perspectives, so I apologize if I spoke for the alliance or queer students as a whole. It’s not my place. Overall, this article is an accumulation of my own experiences and perspective. Thanks for reading!
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A queer NCS Student
11/8/2021 05:01:30 pm
Spencer, I value your courage, and I appreciate how you have helped open people's minds to experiences across the close. I agree with you, and I think what a lot of people are missing is that ADDING to the dress code will not change the very core of it, simply open more room for expression. I also think that if the dress code of St. Albans is so vital to what it is as a school and an institution, then it must not have a very good base of it's identity at all. I am a freshman at NCS, and as a gender questioning person I would like to be able to take classes at st albans, but I doubt I will ever be comfortable doing so, based on so many of my peers' experiences. thank you for starting to change that.
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A queer student at NCS
11/8/2021 08:39:19 pm
Hi just wanted to add that I used queer to describe my own identity but it’s not really appropriate for cis/het people to use, especially in a negative way. If anyone has a comment on this (particularly if you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community) it would b greatly appreciated!
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Max Vivatrat
11/8/2021 05:36:37 pm
Hello Spencer if (when) you read this. This has certainly grown to be quite the controversy. I don't feel like repeating a lot of stuff that has been said, so here are a couple things I wanted to mention.
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NCS Senior
11/8/2021 08:03:56 pm
It is downright scary to see STA's inability to even listen to new ideas in this comment section, especially ideas that would strengthen their school community and make the community more welcoming to LGBTQIA+ students. Maybe if STA was more accepting, there would be more than 2 people in GSA. And, representation is important! It is appalling that there are only 2 students in the GSA! Rather than breeding intolerance and fear of being oneself, STA administration and student body should focus on listening to minority voices, rather than ganging up on those brave enough to speak up! Rather than attacking Spencer in an anonymous comment section, consider his points about inclusivity and their experiences, rather than spewing ignorant BS that frankly, makes STA look bad.
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Anonymous Frog
11/8/2021 08:35:41 pm
Completely agree. I'd just like to point out that Spencer says there are two members of the LGBTQ+ affinity group, which is different from the GSA. There are at least a dozen student members who frequent the GSA and many more faculty.
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STA Student
11/8/2021 09:08:33 pm
There are many more than 2 people in the GSA, and many of the members are straight and cisgendered people. The willingness of people to attend GSA shows that STA can be and is an accepting place, at least to a certain extent. There are only 2 people in the anonymous LBTQ+ affinity group, and why there are so few I'm not sure. My next point is not specific to you but to a general trend I've noticed in the comments.There are a lot of NCS students offering their views and judging St. Albans students for their reaction to the article; however, the overwhelming majority of STA students had the same negative reaction to this article. While NCS and STA may both be on the close, they are very different schools with extremely different cultures and communities. The myriad of comments from NCS students only leads me to believe that NCS students do not understand the STA community and its commitment to traditions and its other institutions. I understand that people want to speak out when they think STA students are being unaccepting or transphobic. However, I think NCS students are misunderstanding the issue and what it represents to the larger STA community, and I believe they should be more open minded and should realize that they can never fully understand the nuances of this issue. The vast majority of STA students (and many teachers) believe the dress code should remain in place and disagree with message of this article, and that does not make STA an unaccepting or transphobic place.
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Former NCS Student
11/9/2021 11:47:44 am
As a former NCS student of 7 years I became aware of the culture on the cathedral close including STA. I’ve been reading a lot of comments in response to this article regarding traditions and how the dress code at STA is one of those traditions and while I believe traditions are important I believe some are just best left in the past. I have seen the way boys can act at STA and I believe part of the toxicity stemming from this sense of brotherhood and masculinity can be enforced through Dress code as well. when we foster an environment restricting self expression of students we create an unsafe environment for those that don’t fit inside this cookie cutter mold we’ve formed. I am currently adjusting the Dress Code at my new school for similar reasons such as how important self expression is and how we’re living in a world built on that- on self expression. We’re in a more accepting day in age in which people are required to find and discover themselves and that can be hard when there is no flexibility for self expression. Spencer your argument was well stated and I agree with you wholeheartedly. You’re in an environment built from this concept of “manhood” but really that environment reeks of insecurity and lack of acceptance for anything other that what fits inside the mold. You will wear this, you will act like that, you will get straight A’s, you will play these sports, and be this person. I left NCS for these reasons but at least NCS has the bare minimum of a dress code allowing those of different gender identities to express themselves accordingly and it is really disappointing to see a community which is so stuck on this concept of masculinity that they can’t even be secure enough in theirs to see beyond it and understand that every person in that environment is just trying to find themselves. we’re teenagers. we need the ability to explore who we are and i’m so sorry that you’re struggling so much to create the environment you and so many other people in that school (and i mean even in the world) deserve. they’re so focused on creating the “perfect boy” that they lost sight of the fact they’re raising human beings and we should be focused on raising and molding the healthiest happiest humans. keep fighting for your cause- Though I gave up and left, I haven’t lost faith in that school yet. Don’t lose faith in it yet either. Much love and support <3
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ANONYMOUS
11/9/2021 09:16:24 pm
Spencer you are such a boss. I admire you so so much. Keep on using your voice and don't let others tear you down (even though it's really hard) Change needs to happen. And when it does, it's going to be because of people like you. Keep on doing what you're doing <3
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Emma
11/10/2021 07:36:35 pm
Spencer- thank you so much for getting this message out there, for all of the students that were or are in unsafe positions to advocate for themselves and even just from the perspective of someone who cares about their friends. Respect costs nothing, and dignity as well. If teachers and schools cannot respect the students that pay to attend their institution, they do not deserve to continue to teach, and the sentiment of your article has made that abundantly clear. Maintaining traditions is wonderful, but only goes as far as it benefits the wellbeing of those following it- and adjusting or adding to tradition, as you say, causes no harm to anyone. Some members of a community dressing differently does not mean all the masculine cishet guys at STA are suddenly required to dress more femininely.
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Mina
11/19/2021 09:27:40 pm
The so called tradition of a "masculine" dresscode means that men can only wear certain clothing further upholding toxic masculinity.
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Mina
11/19/2021 09:29:04 pm
also why are cis people saying if something is transphobic or not if you don't live that reality...
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